CC DAY 20: The AC Police

Every time someone, anyone walks into a room, they turn the Air Conditioning off and it is doing my head in. The nannies and the father have convinced Henry he is allergic to air conditioning. Eddie cannot stand the heat. My husband’s uncle keeps complaining that it is too hot for the baby while his wife says she prefers heat rash to pneumonia.

There is only one thing worse than being subjected to equator heat when the AC is working and there is ‘light’. In consideration to the nannies, I have subjected myself to one too many African Magic, Dove media, Christian movies.

I am astounded by the depiction of the dark elements while using Christianese,

“You son of a bastard”,

“You father of a rascal”.

Such deep insults. Now the husband and wife can not pray so Ms Imaobong the housekeeper, the only ‘real’ Christian in the household is praying on the behalf of the family. The mastermind behind the kidnap of the daughter has been revealed as her brother. Plot twist, we just found out he is also her baby daddy and she can’t have another abortion because she has already had three for him.

Ms Nancy, Eddies nanny, is clutching her pearls. The shock is too much for her delicate traditional Igbo Christian tastes. I think Dove media have gone too far with this one.

This is a domestic catastrophe! The parents have had about 4 heart attacks each. “What a shame, what an insult, what ignominy!”  The housekeeper, acting holier than thou is blaming the parents for neglecting their children. Madam Imaobong, when someone was getting someone pregnant, where were you and your preachy judgmental self. Please go jo! The mother keeps collapsing and hitting her head yet she has not passed out yet. Testament that Nigerian woman are truly stronger than regular women.

I cannot do this anymore. This is more draining than breastfeeding!

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