In order to stop breastfeeding at night, I have taken to sleeping on the living room couch. You would think that would cause relief but Eddie, my toddler doesn’t sleep till after midnight and wakes up at 4:30a.m. like clock work. Eddie can also open doors so there’s nowhere to hide.
This morning the heavens opened and the rains fell like a re-enactment of the flood. The AC was blowing a dangerous breeze (if you know, you know). Forced to get up and turn off the AC, I decided I might as well go to the table and do my morning devotion. As I got up to turn the AC off, Nte walked in with Listerine minty breath and no shirt on. I wanted to pray but this man was using his shoulders to distract me.
Technically I consider sex a form of worship so if I took a break, I would still be communing with God. I walked towards the bedroom, opened the door and stopped dead in my tracks. There was a toddler in the middle of my bed! I glared back at this man. He smiled. “Oh did you think he was awake? We’re doing it in there.” Pointing at my walk-in closet.
On the floor? God forbid!!! Me, a whole madam of this house. I am sleeping on couch, barely getting 4 hours and now I’m having sex in a cupboard?!!! Granted its actually a spare room but there’s no bed so it is a cupboard! Me a whole me?! At my big age?!
Now it’s not that we haven’t done it there before but like the prodigal son, my senses had just come to me this morning. I am the madam, not Hagar. I deserve a bed.
It would seem that as the torrential rains poured down and I walked stone faced back to the table and he saw his ship sailing, his senses also returned to him and thus the impossible happened, this man carried the child without waking him and placed Eddie in his own bed, in his own room. See God!!!
I’m learning that in life, if you don’t demand the right thing, you will be relegated to the back of a cupboard when you should be on full count Egyptian cotton with a gentle breeze blowing and smooth jazz playing in the background.